So even more important than the calendar new year (Jan 1), the lunar new year (this year Feb 14) is a time where families all over Korea get together. During this time, Koreans eat 떡국 (rice cake soup), and upon eating it you gain another year (all Koreans turn another year together). The younger family members also perform 새배, which is a ceremonial bow that shows respect for one's living elders, and in return generally receive 새뱃돈, or money. I spent the new year with my biological family. I wasn't sure what to expect at first, but when I first arrived in Cheongju I thought it was going to be a very disappointing holiday.
Korea is all about the patriarch, and so my mom had to spend time with her husband's family. Hence I didn't actually spend time with her at all (outside a chance run-in at the movie theater). My sister met me at the bus terminal, and she helped me get to my aunt's house (mother of "Paul," who's name I now know, 지현). My aunt owns a hagwon and a screen golf establishment, so she was busy with work. My sister couldn't stay and so it was just me, Paul, and my other cousin 지은 (second grade middle school girl) left at the house. I found out that my grandparents were in Seoul, I wouldn't be able to see my mom or sister at all over the weekend, and that I would be helping my aunt do work the next day on New Year's day. I was beginning to wonder why I left Seoul to be in Cheongju. It was then that I felt the pangs of realization that I am still a secret, potentially a burden, and still not really a part of the family.
However, my cousin ordered the most amazing fried chicken for dinner, so my 기분 felt a little better.^^ Then we ended up going out to he movie theater. Even though the movie was an expected disappointment, the time before and after the movie was a nice surprise. In the movie theater was an arcade and little mini noraebang boxes. So before the movie started, Paul sang "Mamma Mia" in his sweet little 5-year-old slightly lispy voice, all in English. I was so impressed! After the movie theater we all played arcade games together, something I haven't done in a long time. When we got back to the house 지은 told me she was very happy that we were closer now, and that she didn't feel so shy around me anymore. When I first met her she was terrified of me, though more for the reason that I am a 외국인 (foreigner) than simply a stranger. Paul too must be feeling more comfortable around me, b/c he flashed me and told me that it was his elephant. I told him it's a small elephant. I suppose perverseness runs in the blood.
So on new year's day my cousins went with my uncle to see his family and I went to my aunt's screen golf place. I helped her vacuum, all the while wondering why I was there. But after we were done I sat around and studied Korean vocabulary and ate fried 떡 with sesame oil. Eventually my aunt sat with me and as I tested myself with the Korean, she learned the English equivalents. It was some nice bonding time. We left around evening time and much to my delight my grandparents were back from Seoul. We went over to their apartment and made dumplings (만두) together, and I got to eat 떡국 (so I am now 28 Korean-years-old). My cousins and I did our 새배, wished our grandparents happy new year (새해 복 많이 받으세요!), and even received 새뱃돈.^^
On Monday my other aunt came to visit. She lives on the West side of Korea in 서산, south of Seoul. So she, my other aunt, my grandmother and I were lounging around in my aunt's room having girl talk so to speak. We ate oranges and dried persimmon. It felt really comfortable, even though I still couldn't understand everything they were saying. But my grandmother kept patting me on the head and telling me she was happy. I heart my one-armed grandma.
My 서산 aunt escorted me to the bus terminal. Before I left she tried to explain to me that my mom was really sad that she wasn't able to spend time with me. (so a lot of 마음에 아파요.) I told her I understood. Her eyes got teary and her speaking got faster. After hugging, I jumped on the bus and headed back to Seoul.
Hey there -- You've now experienced in real time something I can only patch together from my increasingly dim memories of Korea and of the nuclear-family-only version of the New Year observances my parents, sister, brother, and I followed the first decade and a half in the US. As you've seen, family in Korea means extended family, so our observances were merely a pale and small shadow of what they should have been like. (PS -- I love how you're peppering your posts with 한글, and compliment your usage, but will the non-Korean-reading followers of your blog comprende? :-) And lest I forget, a belated 새해 복 많이 받으세요!
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's definitely been interesting experiencing family life here in Korea (with both my own and my host family). It will be interesting being integrated once again into the American way, I've become somewhat Koreanized. hehe.
ReplyDeleteYeah, as for the occasional 한글 , I figure if people are interested enough, they can google translate it. hehehe.
And yes, belated 새해 복 많이 받으세요!!^^