I was told that I would go to Cheonan, where my aunt (the youngest aunt) would pick me up and bring me to Seosan where she lives. Then we would go to Cheongju the next day to visit. And then I would go on my merry way. That's not exactly what happened.
As I was riding the train to Cheonan, I got a text saying that some man instead would pick me up. This said man then texted me and told me to meet him outside the station and to use the underground passageway to get to an intersection. He would be in a black car and gave me the license plate number. This is all in Korean mind you. So I thought great, I have to find a man I don't know in a city I don't know. Aish.
I miraculously found him (my Korean sense is good). We then had to wait for his wife who was coming to Cheonan from Seoul via bus. So we sat around in a coffee shop. I assumed it would be the standard awkward interaction, but to my surprise it wasn't so bad. I still had no idea who he was or how he was related to me, but I figured I would find that out in time. That just seems to be the case usually.
His wife finally arrived, and we all drove back to Seosan. I wasn't sure what his wife was like, at first I thought she was going to be mean. She's really tall, and she was dressed nicely, and had a hardened expression on her face. Luckily I found out later that she is an awesome person.
I passed out once I was in the car, hoping that I would indeed arrive at my aunt's house when I woke up. I mean, from one perspective it all seemed a little strange. Finding a man on the side of the road in a black car with his fancy looking wife, and just driving off. Luckily we did arrive in Seosan, and I saw my aunt's shining smiling face when they got out of the elevator of a very nice apartment building.
At this time it was well after midnight. Instead of going to bed though, we ate a giant meal of rice, duck, and various side dishes. It was delicious. Oh and some alcohol. It was like a combination of wine and moonshine. I discovered as we ate, that the mysterious man is the brother of my aunt's husband. He was an English literature major (though he claimed he hates English), and is now a fire fighter. I don't think he's still fighting fires, his rank is high and he's in charge of training and education. His English is decent and he's a funny guy. There was another brother of my uncle there too, who also has decent enough English. He studied Chinese, and is now a salary man of sorts. The fancy looking wife is a head nurse, who works in the maternity department of her hospital. As I chatted with them over the course of a couple of days, I discovered that they are all really cool people. Really smart, open-minded, and hilarious. We finally went to bed around 2am.
As my aunt and I settled in (we both slept on the floor in the same room), I discovered another piece to my family's history. I found out that my grandfather was actually married twice, and that only my Seosan aunt, and Cheongju aunt, and my mom share the same mother (so my one-armed grandma). I had wondered why I really only saw these two aunts. And then I discovered that my grandfather was essentially married to the two wives at the same time, living in the same house... Apparently with his first wife, after their fifth girl, he (or maybe them, I don't know), decided he needed a son and so brought my grandma into the picture. Though she ended up having 3 more girls. Wife number one had 2 more children, I one of them finally being a boy. After he brought my grandma into the picture, both wives had his children, apparently in alternating fashion as the diagram my aunt drew seemed to depict. And then my grandma lost her arm at age 33, after my Seosan aunt was born. At that point it was almost 3am, I still had more questions, but I was all Koreaned-out, so we went to bed.
The next day
my aunt, my uncle, and the fire fighter decided to take me mountain hiking. It's typhoon season, so it was a little rainy, and the mountains were covered in fog. Apparently there's an amazing view from the top summit, but all we could see was white. I took some photos with my new phone. After I took a picture of my uncle and his brother, they told me that if I show this photo to American women, then they will all flock to Korea. They tried to look as manly as possible. I thought it was very cute.
As I scrambled up rocks, I worried about coming back down again. It had rained, I was only wearing Sauconys and I don't really climb down rocks. So the trek down was definitely interesting.
My uncle and the fire fighter told me more about their family. They said that there were no heavy drinkers, no gamblers, no one with serious problems really. They said that they just like to hang out and talk a lot. But they reassured me that they were not boring. They asked me if I have a religion, and seeing as this is always a precarious topic to approach, I hesitatingly said no. And their response was, "Religion is a chain around man's heart." Not the reaction I was expecting. They said that they believed in humanism. Over the course of the few days I was there, more philosophical conversation was discussed. It was a nice change to the conversation that usually has taken place here in Korea.
The usual to
pics of conversation involve my ability to use chopsticks, my liking of spicy food, "traditional" Korean things, and other such banal subjects. I generally hate small talk in the US, I really hate small talk in Korea. Oh and they also told me that my grandfather used to hunt wild pigs in the mountains with just a spear... hmm...Three hours later we went back home. There was more eating and drinking and chatting. I found out that my mom wasn't feeling well b/c she's been overworked. My mom's restaurant was featured on a television program recently, and so people from all over have been coming to eat there. And something was said about maybe her husband hanging around, so needless to say, me visiting Cheongju was knocked off the list.
As we sat around, I got to chat more with the fire fighter's wife. She is really nice, really smart, and beautiful. He lucked out. Though she lucked out too, b/c he does a lot of the cooking and cleaning around the house, something that Korean men are notoriously known for not doing. Apparently he's also a match maker.
At one point, my aunt put out frozen blackberries for us to eat. The fire fighter's wife told me that they are good for increasing sexual energy. And then with perfect timing, my uncle said that he and my aunt don't need to eat them. And they raised their arms as in triumph. My aunt started to laugh hysterically. They seem to have a really good relationship. They're always teasing each other, helping each other out, and chatting with one another. It makes me happy, especially in Korea, to know that happily married couples do exist here.
The next day we did a very short Chuseok ceremony, thanking ancestors for what we have now. Usually a table of food is laid out for ancestors past, and there's a lot of bowing involved. This is what the table looks like:
After lunch my aunt, the non firefighter brother and I sat around and chatted. His English is really good, and so I was trying to tell them more about what I have done and what I want to do. They are definitely open minded Koreans. They are supportive of my decision to ditch science for art. We discussed science politics briefly and the brother said that he's heard the same thing before from a friend who used to be in physics. They asked me why I had originally wanted to go to Korea. They asked me about my future plans. They said they were happy that I am brave enough to do what I want and not stick with convention, and that my aunt said she didn't really adopt this way of living until her 40s. I really want them to be able to get to know me as a person, and so I'm happy we had this conversation. I told them the more I learn about my family, the more I think that I was blessed with some good DNA. They said I must have good parents in the USA, and that I was given a good combination of nature and nurture. I agreed with them.
Later that day I was sent on my way back to Gumi. At that point, despite there being some English in the air, my brain hurt from all the Korean. My aunt is an intense (but cheerful) person, and so she speaks Korean to me very fast, and gets in real close. One of the brothers made fun of her for doing that and said if someone talked like that to him, he wouldn't understand either. I'm happy I ended up visiting them instead of just lounging around my apartment.
No comments:
Post a Comment