Family, Dumplings, Sneaky Cousins, and Expensive Dresses

So due to my students' final exams, I had this week off for the most part. I decided it was time to see family in Cheongju, as I haven't actually seen them since before my summer vacation. Time is flying in a way that I can't even explain, so it's no surprise that that much time had passed since my last visit.

Seeing family in Cheongju, I will admit, stresses me out very much, mainly due to the language barrier. I'm a person who tends to avoid awkward situations like the plague, and so being the awkward hypochondriac that I am, this is generally not a completely pleasant experience.

However to my great surprise, my Korean skills have definitely improved since I last saw my grandparents. In general I can't understand old people when they talk to me, Korean or American for that matter. So one can imagine that when old people talk to me in Korean, my brain simply wants to explode. But this time, my grandparents would say something to me, and instead of mini explosions happening, I could actually understand them and answer them back. This greatly surprised and delighted my grandfather.

I got to see my cousin "Paul" and his older sister on Tuesday night. As we were watching cartoons together, "Paul" and I both decided that we wanted to eat chocolate cake. "Paul" said that he wanted to go for a "케이크 산책," or in English, it would translate to a "cake walk." My grandmother handed over the equivalent of about 8 dollars, and sent us on our way. I don't know my way around the neighborhood so I was at the mercy of "Paul." We went to 2 bakeries before we found the proper cake, and then after finding our $5 dessert, he started to walk away from the apartment. I asked him if he was sure he knew what he was doing, but he was quite confident in his directional skills. I was freezing my butt off, and wasn't terribly pleased with this. Then suddenly his eyes lit up when he saw a particular stationary store. He bolted for the store and used the rest of our grandmother's money to buy some popular trading cards. It was then that I realized I had been had. When we got home my grandma wanted her change and so asked "Paul" how much the cake cost, and "Paul" replied with a coy, "모르겠어..." or "I don't know...." My grandma knew exactly what happened and scolded him for abusing my lack of knowledge of the area. Ahhh "Paul," you sneaky devil.

Later that night and for several hours the next morning, I helped my family make 만두, or dumplings. Amazed, I watched my one-armed grandma somehow finely dice

scallions as she sat on the floor. (as a note: when Koreans make large batches of food, they usually plunker down on the floor, as counter space is quite limited) My cousins couldn't make them very well, but of course they tried. After cooking them, my aunt and grandma would make fun of the semi-retarded looking dumplings that "Paul" made. Cruel, but amusing nonetheless. Mine looked pretty awful at first too, but I eventually got the hang of it. See the picture below as proof.

On Wednesday I spent most of the day with my mom. She too made dumplings in the morning with me, as we sat around watching terrible daytime Korean television. Then she mysteriously left in the middle of the day (well mysterious for me, b/c I'm sure she told me, I probably just didn't hear or understand her, something I do with my American mom too, sorry moms!) Anyway, she came back in the evening and took me to the downtown area. She was determined to buy me something and this stressed me out to no end. We walked around a department store, where everything was at least 200,000W (so like around $200), and she would ask me if I liked this or that. A lot of dresses in Korea are absolutely hideous in my opinion so I felt the pressure growing after each time I said I didn't like anything on the racks of the various brand booths. Finally I saw something that wasn't hideous, if not mildly pleasing to my tastes and my mom forced me to try it on. I figured it was as good as it was going to get, and so my mom dropped 240,000W on a wool jumper. Then we awkwardly ate dinner together (she is a tight-lipped women, unlike my aunts), and she told me that maybe my sister will study in the USA in the future. I hope she doesn't entrust complete responsibility on me (something that I do worry about), but I do think it would be a good experience for my sister to study abroad.

When we got back home, my mom told me to try the dress on for my grandma (family behavior is so universal), and my grandma smiled as I sauntered out of the bedroom and said she bet that I look just like the manikin. We said goodnight, and my mom left the next morning well before I woke up. My grandma handed me a fist full of cash, told me that my grandfather insisted, gave me a big strong one-armed hug, and then saw me off in a taxi cab.

Chuseok

So this week, Tues through Thurs, is Chuseok, the Korean version of Thanksgiving. I resisted at first, b/c I wanted to just rest a bit from all the hustle and bustle of school, but I eventually decided I should see family. After all, that is why I stayed another year here. I thought I would just visit Cheongju to see my grandparents and maybe my mom and aunt that live there. But things never go as I intend them.

I was told that I would go to Cheonan, where my aunt (the youngest aunt) would pick me up and bring me to Seosan where she lives. Then we would go to Cheongju the next day to visit. And then I would go on my merry way. That's not exactly what happened.

As I was riding the train to Cheonan, I got a text saying that some man instead would pick me up. This said man then texted me and told me to meet him outside the station and to use the underground passageway to get to an intersection. He would be in a black car and gave me the license plate number. This is all in Korean mind you. So I thought great, I have to find a man I don't know in a city I don't know. Aish.

I miraculously found him (my Korean sense is good). We then had to wait for his wife who was coming to Cheonan from Seoul via bus. So we sat around in a coffee shop. I assumed it would be the standard awkward interaction, but to my surprise it wasn't so bad. I still had no idea who he was or how he was related to me, but I figured I would find that out in time. That just seems to be the case usually.

His wife finally arrived, and we all drove back to Seosan. I wasn't sure what his wife was like, at first I thought she was going to be mean. She's really tall, and she was dressed nicely, and had a hardened expression on her face. Luckily I found out later that she is an awesome person.

I passed out once I was in the car, hoping that I would indeed arrive at my aunt's house when I woke up. I mean, from one perspective it all seemed a little strange. Finding a man on the side of the road in a black car with his fancy looking wife, and just driving off. Luckily we did arrive in Seosan, and I saw my aunt's shining smiling face when they got out of the elevator of a very nice apartment building.

At this time it was well after midnight. Instead of going to bed though, we ate a giant meal of rice, duck, and various side dishes. It was delicious. Oh and some alcohol. It was like a combination of wine and moonshine. I discovered as we ate, that the mysterious man is the brother of my aunt's husband. He was an English literature major (though he claimed he hates English), and is now a fire fighter. I don't think he's still fighting fires, his rank is high and he's in charge of training and education. His English is decent and he's a funny guy. There was another brother of my uncle there too, who also has decent enough English. He studied Chinese, and is now a salary man of sorts. The fancy looking wife is a head nurse, who works in the maternity department of her hospital. As I chatted with them over the course of a couple of days, I discovered that they are all really cool people. Really smart, open-minded, and hilarious. We finally went to bed around 2am.

As my aunt and I settled in (we both slept on the floor in the same room), I discovered another piece to my family's history. I found out that my grandfather was actually married twice, and that only my Seosan aunt, and Cheongju aunt, and my mom share the same mother (so my one-armed grandma). I had wondered why I really only saw these two aunts. And then I discovered that my grandfather was essentially married to the two wives at the same time, living in the same house... Apparently with his first wife, after their fifth girl, he (or maybe them, I don't know), decided he needed a son and so brought my grandma into the picture. Though she ended up having 3 more girls. Wife number one had 2 more children, I one of them finally being a boy. After he brought my grandma into the picture, both wives had his children, apparently in alternating fashion as the diagram my aunt drew seemed to depict. And then my grandma lost her arm at age 33, after my Seosan aunt was born. At that point it was almost 3am, I still had more questions, but I was all Koreaned-out, so we went to bed.

The next day my aunt, my uncle, and the fire fighter decided to take me mountain hiking. It's typhoon season, so it was a little rainy, and the mountains were covered in fog. Apparently there's an amazing view from the top summit, but all we could see was white. I took some photos with my new phone. After I took a picture of my uncle and his brother, they told me that if I show this photo to American women, then they will all flock to Korea. They tried to look as manly as possible. I thought it was very cute.

As I scrambled up rocks, I worried about coming back down again. It had rained, I was only wearing Sauconys and I don't really climb down rocks. So the trek down was definitely interesting.

My uncle and the fire fighter told me more about their family. They said that there were no heavy drinkers, no gamblers, no one with serious problems really. They said that they just like to hang out and talk a lot. But they reassured me that they were not boring. They asked me if I have a religion, and seeing as this is always a precarious topic to approach, I hesitatingly said no. And their response was, "Religion is a chain around man's heart." Not the reaction I was expecting. They said that they believed in humanism. Over the course of the few days I was there, more philosophical conversation was discussed. It was a nice change to the conversation that usually has taken place here in Korea.

The usual topics of conversation involve my ability to use chopsticks, my liking of spicy food, "traditional" Korean things, and other such banal subjects. I generally hate small talk in the US, I really hate small talk in Korea. Oh and they also told me that my grandfather used to hunt wild pigs in the mountains with just a spear... hmm...

Three hours later we went back home. There was more eating and drinking and chatting. I found out that my mom wasn't feeling well b/c she's been overworked. My mom's restaurant was featured on a television program recently, and so people from all over have been coming to eat there. And something was said about maybe her husband hanging around, so needless to say, me visiting Cheongju was knocked off the list.

As we sat around, I got to chat more with the fire fighter's wife. She is really nice, really smart, and beautiful. He lucked out. Though she lucked out too, b/c he does a lot of the cooking and cleaning around the house, something that Korean men are notoriously known for not doing. Apparently he's also a match maker.

At one point, my aunt put out frozen blackberries for us to eat. The fire fighter's wife told me that they are good for increasing sexual energy. And then with perfect timing, my uncle said that he and my aunt don't need to eat them. And they raised their arms as in triumph. My aunt started to laugh hysterically. They seem to have a really good relationship. They're always teasing each other, helping each other out, and chatting with one another. It makes me happy, especially in Korea, to know that happily married couples do exist here.

The next day we did a very short Chuseok ceremony, thanking ancestors for what we have now. Usually a table of food is laid out for ancestors past, and there's a lot of bowing involved. This is what the table looks like:


After lunch my aunt, the non firefighter brother and I sat around and chatted. His English is really good, and so I was trying to tell them more about what I have done and what I want to do. They are definitely open minded Koreans. They are supportive of my decision to ditch science for art. We discussed science politics briefly and the brother said that he's heard the same thing before from a friend who used to be in physics. They asked me why I had originally wanted to go to Korea. They asked me about my future plans. They said they were happy that I am brave enough to do what I want and not stick with convention, and that my aunt said she didn't really adopt this way of living until her 40s. I really want them to be able to get to know me as a person, and so I'm happy we had this conversation. I told them the more I learn about my family, the more I think that I was blessed with some good DNA. They said I must have good parents in the USA, and that I was given a good combination of nature and nurture. I agreed with them.

Later that day I was sent on my way back to Gumi. At that point, despite there being some English in the air, my brain hurt from all the Korean. My aunt is an intense (but cheerful) person, and so she speaks Korean to me very fast, and gets in real close. One of the brothers made fun of her for doing that and said if someone talked like that to him, he wouldn't understand either. I'm happy I ended up visiting them instead of just lounging around my apartment.

Great Success!

Ok, so I just had my first truly successful phone conversation with my mom, in Korean, and I understood almost everything!!! Woooo!!!! Baby steps, baby steps....

Catching Up, New Year's (설날) With the Family

So even more important than the calendar new year (Jan 1), the lunar new year (this year Feb 14) is a time where families all over Korea get together. During this time, Koreans eat 떡국 (rice cake soup), and upon eating it you gain another year (all Koreans turn another year together). The younger family members also perform 새배, which is a ceremonial bow that shows respect for one's living elders, and in return generally receive 새뱃돈, or money. I spent the new year with my biological family. I wasn't sure what to expect at first, but when I first arrived in Cheongju I thought it was going to be a very disappointing holiday.

Korea is all about the patriarch, and so my mom had to spend time with her husband's family. Hence I didn't actually spend time with her at all (outside a chance run-in at the movie theater). My sister met me at the bus terminal, and she helped me get to my aunt's house (mother of "Paul," who's name I now know, 지현). My aunt owns a hagwon and a screen golf establishment, so she was busy with work. My sister couldn't stay and so it was just me, Paul, and my other cousin 지은 (second grade middle school girl) left at the house. I found out that my grandparents were in Seoul, I wouldn't be able to see my mom or sister at all over the weekend, and that I would be helping my aunt do work the next day on New Year's day. I was beginning to wonder why I left Seoul to be in Cheongju. It was then that I felt the pangs of realization that I am still a secret, potentially a burden, and still not really a part of the family.

However, my cousin ordered the most amazing fried chicken for dinner, so my 기분 felt a little better.^^ Then we ended up going out to he movie theater. Even though the movie was an expected disappointment, the time before and after the movie was a nice surprise. In the movie theater was an arcade and little mini noraebang boxes. So before the movie started, Paul sang "Mamma Mia" in his sweet little 5-year-old slightly lispy voice, all in English. I was so impressed! After the movie theater we all played arcade games together, something I haven't done in a long time. When we got back to the house 지은 told me she was very happy that we were closer now, and that she didn't feel so shy around me anymore. When I first met her she was terrified of me, though more for the reason that I am a 외국인 (foreigner) than simply a stranger. Paul too must be feeling more comfortable around me, b/c he flashed me and told me that it was his elephant. I told him it's a small elephant. I suppose perverseness runs in the blood.

So on new year's day my cousins went with my uncle to see his family and I went to my aunt's screen golf place. I helped her vacuum, all the while wondering why I was there. But after we were done I sat around and studied Korean vocabulary and ate fried 떡 with sesame oil. Eventually my aunt sat with me and as I tested myself with the Korean, she learned the English equivalents. It was some nice bonding time. We left around evening time and much to my delight my grandparents were back from Seoul. We went over to their apartment and made dumplings (만두) together, and I got to eat 떡국 (so I am now 28 Korean-years-old). My cousins and I did our 새배, wished our grandparents happy new year (새해 복 많이 받으세요!), and even received 새뱃돈.^^

On Monday my other aunt came to visit. She lives on the West side of Korea in 서산, south of Seoul. So she, my other aunt, my grandmother and I were lounging around in my aunt's room having girl talk so to speak. We ate oranges and dried persimmon. It felt really comfortable, even though I still couldn't understand everything they were saying. But my grandmother kept patting me on the head and telling me she was happy. I heart my one-armed grandma.

My 서산 aunt escorted me to the bus terminal. Before I left she tried to explain to me that my mom was really sad that she wasn't able to spend time with me. (so a lot of 마음에 아파요.) I told her I understood. Her eyes got teary and her speaking got faster. After hugging, I jumped on the bus and headed back to Seoul.

Cousins, Ears, and My Sister

So with my mom being one of 8 children, that means that I have a lot of cousins. Below is a photo of me with 3 of them, 2 girls in middle school and a boy who is in kindergarten. Their names continue to elude me (as with most Korean names), though the boy's English name is Paul.

While I was hanging out with my family, my uncle pointed to my ears and said something along the lines of, "unbalanced." My hair was pulled back, and so of course I immediately knew that he was talking about my asymmetrical ears (something which my doctor many years ago said I could get "fixed" if I so desired). They had definitely been a point of extreme sensitivity when I was younger, and so at first was a little offended. But then, he grabbed Paul's head, pointed to his ears and said, "Same." And much to my delight, apparently all of my cousins' ears are like that. It was the first time I could enjoy a biological defect as a stamp of belonging.

Now as a side note, my cousin, Paul, I must admit is adorable. At first he was very shy around me, like all Korean children who have to speak English to me, but he eventually warmed up. I discovered his English vocabulary is probably better than my Korean vocabulary. He wouldn't sit still for the camera, so I have many a blurry pictures of him, as seen below.

These pictures were taken the same weekend that I met my sister. The first meeting was a little hard to describe. I didn't actually get to chat with her very much. She appeared a little overwhelmed and our interactions were somewhat awkward. I asked what she thought when she found out, and her answer was "nothing." Her Korean answer is a little difficult to translate into English, but essentially my impression was that she was so surprised she didn't know what to think. I saw her occasionally wipe her eyes as she retreated from the many family members that were present to regain composer. My mom still hasn't told her husband, and I don't think she will for awhile.

A Long 24 Hours

As many of you know, I met my biological family for the first time last Wednesday. It was probably one of the most awkward, touching, and wonderful experiences I've ever had. Here is the entire story for those who are interested (it's still a little rough, so I'll be editing it later):

First off, I was lucky enough to get both Wednesday and Thursday off from my school. Because of the second grade final test schedule, I was only required to teach one class each day. I told my coteachers about my predicament and so they were kind enough to take over my classes for me. I have really amazing coteachers by the way.^^

So Wednesday morning my host mom drove me to the train station and I caught the 10:50am train to Seoul. It took about 3 hours to get to Seoul Station, where I met my friend Amy (another ETA). She's an awesome friend, and was concerned that I would be in Seoul alone for the night and so offered to accompany me in the city. I warned her that this may be an "anything goes" situation and she was prepared for that. I am grateful for her friendship.

We dropped by Lotte Mart so I could grab some juice (I planned on bringing a pound of chocolate and some juice to the Holt office as a gesture of appreciation). After, we grabbed a motel room in the Sinchon (신촌) area so that I could be relatively close to Hapjeong Station, where Holt is. I managed to choke down a couple of triangle kimbaps, brushed my teeth, and left for the office.

My meeting was scheduled for 4:30pm, where I would tentatively meet my mom, my aunt, and my grandmother. I managed to get horribly lost on the way to the office, had to ask for directions, and finally got pointed in the correct direction. I was definitely running late at that point, and was a little worried that my family would think I backed out. But low and behold, I finally got to the office (out of breath from walking fast and carrying that chocolate and juice with me).

I was immediately met with one of the Holt social workers, Yoon Joo, who has been extremely kind and patient during this entire process. She brought me into another room where just my mom and aunt were waiting. At first sight, I didn't know how to react. They were simply two strangers in a room that I happened to share the same blood with. But then as soon as they hugged me and I heard the words, "미안해," (I'm sorry) they started to cry, and so I started to cry. I told them it was ok.

We sat down and they told me that I look a lot like my sister. They showed me a picture of her. She's about 23 right now. They haven't told her or my mom's husband about me yet. They plan to tell them both at the end of the month. However my mom's entire family knows about me. My mom studied my hands and said they felt just like my sister's hands. They told me that had my aunt had a job when I was born, things may have been different. She owns a hagwon (학원 or private institute) now and so it appears that money is not an issue for her. My mom is the head cook in a restaurant.

They told me that they wanted me to come to 청주 (Cheongju), where my family lives, and spend the night there time permitting. I was hesitant at first, since Amy had gone out of her way to come to Seoul. But because of the look in their eyes, I couldn't say no. We at dinner near the office, where a volunteer translator accompanied us. She's a junior in college, majoring in English. She was super nice and I'm really happy that she was our translator for the meal. We ate grilled beef, along with the normal variety of banchan (반찬 or side dishes). As I ate, my aunt was staring at me from across the table. It was touching, b/c she was watching me in awe, but I felt a little self conscious. They were delighted with the way I was eating, b/c my manner was very Korean.

After we left the restaurant, we got into my aunt's car and drove to Sinchon, where I grabbed my clothes and informed Amy of my soon-to-be departure. On the way to Cheongju, my mom was on the phone calling relatives. She kept saying, "진짜 예퍼!!!" which translates to, "She's really pretty!!!" I held my mom's hand, and for you that know me, know that I am not a super touchy feely person, so this was both endearing and horribly awkward. At one point she was fixing my hair, but it got caught on my freshly pierced ears, and so in Korean I had to explain that b/c I had just had them done that she be careful since they still hurt. The drive took about 2 hours, and felt very surreal. My brain couldn't quite comprehend being in the car with women I've wanted to meet my entire life. It was raining that night and so despite the extraordinary circumstances I still managed to fall asleep in the car.

We got to my grandparents' house just after 9pm. We picked up my aunt's neighbor's daughter on the way b/c she was able to act as a translator for us. She's studying pharmacy in Sydney right now and so her English is really good.

My grandparents are in their 80s and are adorable. My grandmother is missing her left arm, but she's a totally able person and strong as a horse. She kept patting my head, but it felt more like she was hitting me. My grandfather apparently had a dream the night before about catching a giant fish and in Eastern culture that symbolizes wealth or good fortune. He kept talking about the fish and making a gesture with his hands denoting its size. It was really cute. He also said that he's only cried twice in his adult life, and earlier in the day was one of them. Both of my grandparents told me that they were sorry as well and continued to tear up.

My aunt's husband and two children joined us for a little bit. She has a girl in second grade middle school (same age as my students) and a boy in kindergarten. They were both a little shy b/c they had to speak English with me. (all Korean students are shy when it comes to speaking English) The boy was all over the place and couldn't sit still. He's sooooo adorable. And my girl cousin looks a lot like me when I was younger. As they were going through the photo album I gave them, they pointed out that in my pics as a younger child that I look similar to her when she was in elementary school. My aunt was dating her husband at the time when I was born, so they told me that he has been waiting a long time to meet me. He couldn't speak much English, and so he sat there with a giant grin on his face, and said to me, "DNA! Same same!!"

Eventually my aunt and her family had to leave. They left behind my girl cousin however to fill in the role as translator. She nearly flipped out, but calmed down after they left. She left to go home after another hour or so. Then it was just my mom, my grandparents, and me. We had to stay up to wait for another aunt who was on her way (the youngest of my mom's sibblings). She finally arrived around 1am, and she was so overjoyed to see me. She said that they have all been waiting to meet me. She held my hands and spoke Korean really fast and passionately as her eyes welled up with tears. I probably only understood 30% of her words, but I managed to get the gist. We sat up chatting until well after 2am. My mom, my aunt, my grandmother and me were on the living room floor getting all emotional. My grandfather was really tired and so tried to go to sleep before us, but was feeling restless and so attempted to aid his sleep with soju. My family told me the next day that he couldn't sleep b/c he kept thinking about me all night.

Before going to bed I showed them the translation that my coteachers helped me with. I basically told them that I came to Korea b/c I wanted to meet them; that I am thankful that they took my future into consideration; and that despite being happy in the United States, I have thought about them my entire life. Eventually my head started to hurt b/c it was late and the amount of Korean that had passed through my brain had hit its limit. I slept in the same bed as my mom and she held me for awhile. However we had a giant heating pad under us and so I inevitably got really uncomfortable (and b/c I was essentially cuddling with a stranger). And then I got stressed out b/c I didn't know how to emphasis the fact that I was warm, and not make her think that she was making me uncomfortable. She also snored a little, so I didn't get the best night's sleep. And as a side note, us sleeping in the same bed isn't that strange, when you think about Korean culture. A lot of times Koreans will sleep side by side with their family members on the floor, like little bugs in a rug, all cozy on the heated floor.

The next day I awoke to my aunt saying something in Korean really loud and fast, to which my uncaffeinated brain did not respond well to. My grandmother and mom cooked breakfast and so we all sat on the floor and enjoyed the meal together. After we were done, my grandfather proceeded to pass me a wad of one hundred 10,000won bills (so the equivalent of $1000 cash). I told him I couldn't take it and that 2 of the bills would be more than enough. However he responded by telling me that he had missed all of my birthdays and holidays over the years and so this was to make up for that. He also said that basically his soul would hurt if I didn't take it.

My older aunt and our translator came over after breakfast. While our pharmacy friend was around we made sure to get in the more complicated conversations. I asked them how they reacted when they got the phone call from Holt. They told me that about a year ago my mom had actually started watching a program on television that adoptees go on to search for their parents. She started to watch it everyday, thinking that maybe I was trying to find her. Then one day she got a nondescript postcard that had a US address on it. She thought it was junk mail but for some reason or another kept it in her wallet. When she didn't respond to the postcard Holt sent, they emailed my aunt. I believe it was a nondescript email, informing her to call the listed number. My aunt had no idea who it was, but when she called and heard that it was Holt, she nearly froze. She informed the rest of my family and my mom spent a whole day crying with my grandmother. They said she was shaking the entire time.

They asked me how I dealt with my teenage years. I told them they were a little rough, that my parents and I fought a lot but that we were fine now. I assured them that I made sure my grades didn't drop b/c I knew well enough that that was my only ticket to college. My mom apparently was a good student up through middle school and then began to stray in high school and actually never graduated. Hence they were worried about me.

My mom is definitely more reserved than her sisters. My younger aunt told me that my mom has a hard time expressing her feelings and so she wanted to make sure that I knew how she was feeling. She went on to say that when my mom was younger she was very expressive, but after her teenage years she closed up. Maybe b/c of what happened with me. And so she suggested that maybe if I spend enough time with her, that she would open up again and become a more outwardly happy person. That's a lot of pressure right there.

I explained the nature of the Fulbright ETA program to them and told them that there were ETAs in Cheongju. They asked if it was possible for me to switch from Gumi. I told them that that was not possible. They then proceeded to explain that contracts in Korea are more malleable than those found in the United States. I then explained at length my commitment to my homestay, my school, and my students, and that even if I could transfer, I would chose not to do so. They understood my reasoning, and so asked me if I would consider extending my time in Korea so that I could live with them for even just a short period of time after my grant year ends. I told them that I would probably do that.

My mom's entire family has known about me all this time, but her husband and daughter (so my half sister) do not. She plans on telling both of them later this month, and I will be tentatively meeting my sister next month, depending on how it goes.

Eventually my extended family left and all that remained was my mom, my grandparents and me. We went out to a seafood restaurant where I had to prove that I could eat a substantial amount. My family is concerned b/c I've lost weight, and so I had to convince them that I do indeed eat a lot. I've actually lost about 8 pounds since coming to Korea, and so they were worried that I was too small.

After eating a lot of raw fish, I grabbed my things and parted ways with my grandparents. I got in a cab with my mom where we got dropped off somewhere and then got into some man's car. I still don't know who the man driving was. We drove for about 30 minutes to get me to the nearest train station. I was drowsy of course, and so my mom had me sleep on her shoulder. She bought my ticket, handed me a check for 200,000W, and waited with me on the platform. The man had been waiting inside with us but didn't follow us outside.

After I got on the train I started to cry. I tried to hold back the tears but they just kept flowing. It had been a long 24 hours.