Marshmallow

Yeah, so I'm beginning to hear this song all over the place... I first heard it on the tv program Music Bank... but now I hear it in stores, on tv, everywhere. It's inane and I have a love/hate relationship with it. Enjoy.

My Sister

Soooo, I just talked with my birth mom and today she told my sister (age 23) about me. And I even got to exchange a few words with her on the phone. She seemed very nice based on the few words exchanged... but we'll see next month, b/c I will be meeting her on the 16th... 와!!!!

A Long 24 Hours

As many of you know, I met my biological family for the first time last Wednesday. It was probably one of the most awkward, touching, and wonderful experiences I've ever had. Here is the entire story for those who are interested (it's still a little rough, so I'll be editing it later):

First off, I was lucky enough to get both Wednesday and Thursday off from my school. Because of the second grade final test schedule, I was only required to teach one class each day. I told my coteachers about my predicament and so they were kind enough to take over my classes for me. I have really amazing coteachers by the way.^^

So Wednesday morning my host mom drove me to the train station and I caught the 10:50am train to Seoul. It took about 3 hours to get to Seoul Station, where I met my friend Amy (another ETA). She's an awesome friend, and was concerned that I would be in Seoul alone for the night and so offered to accompany me in the city. I warned her that this may be an "anything goes" situation and she was prepared for that. I am grateful for her friendship.

We dropped by Lotte Mart so I could grab some juice (I planned on bringing a pound of chocolate and some juice to the Holt office as a gesture of appreciation). After, we grabbed a motel room in the Sinchon (신촌) area so that I could be relatively close to Hapjeong Station, where Holt is. I managed to choke down a couple of triangle kimbaps, brushed my teeth, and left for the office.

My meeting was scheduled for 4:30pm, where I would tentatively meet my mom, my aunt, and my grandmother. I managed to get horribly lost on the way to the office, had to ask for directions, and finally got pointed in the correct direction. I was definitely running late at that point, and was a little worried that my family would think I backed out. But low and behold, I finally got to the office (out of breath from walking fast and carrying that chocolate and juice with me).

I was immediately met with one of the Holt social workers, Yoon Joo, who has been extremely kind and patient during this entire process. She brought me into another room where just my mom and aunt were waiting. At first sight, I didn't know how to react. They were simply two strangers in a room that I happened to share the same blood with. But then as soon as they hugged me and I heard the words, "미안해," (I'm sorry) they started to cry, and so I started to cry. I told them it was ok.

We sat down and they told me that I look a lot like my sister. They showed me a picture of her. She's about 23 right now. They haven't told her or my mom's husband about me yet. They plan to tell them both at the end of the month. However my mom's entire family knows about me. My mom studied my hands and said they felt just like my sister's hands. They told me that had my aunt had a job when I was born, things may have been different. She owns a hagwon (학원 or private institute) now and so it appears that money is not an issue for her. My mom is the head cook in a restaurant.

They told me that they wanted me to come to 청주 (Cheongju), where my family lives, and spend the night there time permitting. I was hesitant at first, since Amy had gone out of her way to come to Seoul. But because of the look in their eyes, I couldn't say no. We at dinner near the office, where a volunteer translator accompanied us. She's a junior in college, majoring in English. She was super nice and I'm really happy that she was our translator for the meal. We ate grilled beef, along with the normal variety of banchan (반찬 or side dishes). As I ate, my aunt was staring at me from across the table. It was touching, b/c she was watching me in awe, but I felt a little self conscious. They were delighted with the way I was eating, b/c my manner was very Korean.

After we left the restaurant, we got into my aunt's car and drove to Sinchon, where I grabbed my clothes and informed Amy of my soon-to-be departure. On the way to Cheongju, my mom was on the phone calling relatives. She kept saying, "진짜 예퍼!!!" which translates to, "She's really pretty!!!" I held my mom's hand, and for you that know me, know that I am not a super touchy feely person, so this was both endearing and horribly awkward. At one point she was fixing my hair, but it got caught on my freshly pierced ears, and so in Korean I had to explain that b/c I had just had them done that she be careful since they still hurt. The drive took about 2 hours, and felt very surreal. My brain couldn't quite comprehend being in the car with women I've wanted to meet my entire life. It was raining that night and so despite the extraordinary circumstances I still managed to fall asleep in the car.

We got to my grandparents' house just after 9pm. We picked up my aunt's neighbor's daughter on the way b/c she was able to act as a translator for us. She's studying pharmacy in Sydney right now and so her English is really good.

My grandparents are in their 80s and are adorable. My grandmother is missing her left arm, but she's a totally able person and strong as a horse. She kept patting my head, but it felt more like she was hitting me. My grandfather apparently had a dream the night before about catching a giant fish and in Eastern culture that symbolizes wealth or good fortune. He kept talking about the fish and making a gesture with his hands denoting its size. It was really cute. He also said that he's only cried twice in his adult life, and earlier in the day was one of them. Both of my grandparents told me that they were sorry as well and continued to tear up.

My aunt's husband and two children joined us for a little bit. She has a girl in second grade middle school (same age as my students) and a boy in kindergarten. They were both a little shy b/c they had to speak English with me. (all Korean students are shy when it comes to speaking English) The boy was all over the place and couldn't sit still. He's sooooo adorable. And my girl cousin looks a lot like me when I was younger. As they were going through the photo album I gave them, they pointed out that in my pics as a younger child that I look similar to her when she was in elementary school. My aunt was dating her husband at the time when I was born, so they told me that he has been waiting a long time to meet me. He couldn't speak much English, and so he sat there with a giant grin on his face, and said to me, "DNA! Same same!!"

Eventually my aunt and her family had to leave. They left behind my girl cousin however to fill in the role as translator. She nearly flipped out, but calmed down after they left. She left to go home after another hour or so. Then it was just my mom, my grandparents, and me. We had to stay up to wait for another aunt who was on her way (the youngest of my mom's sibblings). She finally arrived around 1am, and she was so overjoyed to see me. She said that they have all been waiting to meet me. She held my hands and spoke Korean really fast and passionately as her eyes welled up with tears. I probably only understood 30% of her words, but I managed to get the gist. We sat up chatting until well after 2am. My mom, my aunt, my grandmother and me were on the living room floor getting all emotional. My grandfather was really tired and so tried to go to sleep before us, but was feeling restless and so attempted to aid his sleep with soju. My family told me the next day that he couldn't sleep b/c he kept thinking about me all night.

Before going to bed I showed them the translation that my coteachers helped me with. I basically told them that I came to Korea b/c I wanted to meet them; that I am thankful that they took my future into consideration; and that despite being happy in the United States, I have thought about them my entire life. Eventually my head started to hurt b/c it was late and the amount of Korean that had passed through my brain had hit its limit. I slept in the same bed as my mom and she held me for awhile. However we had a giant heating pad under us and so I inevitably got really uncomfortable (and b/c I was essentially cuddling with a stranger). And then I got stressed out b/c I didn't know how to emphasis the fact that I was warm, and not make her think that she was making me uncomfortable. She also snored a little, so I didn't get the best night's sleep. And as a side note, us sleeping in the same bed isn't that strange, when you think about Korean culture. A lot of times Koreans will sleep side by side with their family members on the floor, like little bugs in a rug, all cozy on the heated floor.

The next day I awoke to my aunt saying something in Korean really loud and fast, to which my uncaffeinated brain did not respond well to. My grandmother and mom cooked breakfast and so we all sat on the floor and enjoyed the meal together. After we were done, my grandfather proceeded to pass me a wad of one hundred 10,000won bills (so the equivalent of $1000 cash). I told him I couldn't take it and that 2 of the bills would be more than enough. However he responded by telling me that he had missed all of my birthdays and holidays over the years and so this was to make up for that. He also said that basically his soul would hurt if I didn't take it.

My older aunt and our translator came over after breakfast. While our pharmacy friend was around we made sure to get in the more complicated conversations. I asked them how they reacted when they got the phone call from Holt. They told me that about a year ago my mom had actually started watching a program on television that adoptees go on to search for their parents. She started to watch it everyday, thinking that maybe I was trying to find her. Then one day she got a nondescript postcard that had a US address on it. She thought it was junk mail but for some reason or another kept it in her wallet. When she didn't respond to the postcard Holt sent, they emailed my aunt. I believe it was a nondescript email, informing her to call the listed number. My aunt had no idea who it was, but when she called and heard that it was Holt, she nearly froze. She informed the rest of my family and my mom spent a whole day crying with my grandmother. They said she was shaking the entire time.

They asked me how I dealt with my teenage years. I told them they were a little rough, that my parents and I fought a lot but that we were fine now. I assured them that I made sure my grades didn't drop b/c I knew well enough that that was my only ticket to college. My mom apparently was a good student up through middle school and then began to stray in high school and actually never graduated. Hence they were worried about me.

My mom is definitely more reserved than her sisters. My younger aunt told me that my mom has a hard time expressing her feelings and so she wanted to make sure that I knew how she was feeling. She went on to say that when my mom was younger she was very expressive, but after her teenage years she closed up. Maybe b/c of what happened with me. And so she suggested that maybe if I spend enough time with her, that she would open up again and become a more outwardly happy person. That's a lot of pressure right there.

I explained the nature of the Fulbright ETA program to them and told them that there were ETAs in Cheongju. They asked if it was possible for me to switch from Gumi. I told them that that was not possible. They then proceeded to explain that contracts in Korea are more malleable than those found in the United States. I then explained at length my commitment to my homestay, my school, and my students, and that even if I could transfer, I would chose not to do so. They understood my reasoning, and so asked me if I would consider extending my time in Korea so that I could live with them for even just a short period of time after my grant year ends. I told them that I would probably do that.

My mom's entire family has known about me all this time, but her husband and daughter (so my half sister) do not. She plans on telling both of them later this month, and I will be tentatively meeting my sister next month, depending on how it goes.

Eventually my extended family left and all that remained was my mom, my grandparents and me. We went out to a seafood restaurant where I had to prove that I could eat a substantial amount. My family is concerned b/c I've lost weight, and so I had to convince them that I do indeed eat a lot. I've actually lost about 8 pounds since coming to Korea, and so they were worried that I was too small.

After eating a lot of raw fish, I grabbed my things and parted ways with my grandparents. I got in a cab with my mom where we got dropped off somewhere and then got into some man's car. I still don't know who the man driving was. We drove for about 30 minutes to get me to the nearest train station. I was drowsy of course, and so my mom had me sleep on her shoulder. She bought my ticket, handed me a check for 200,000W, and waited with me on the platform. The man had been waiting inside with us but didn't follow us outside.

After I got on the train I started to cry. I tried to hold back the tears but they just kept flowing. It had been a long 24 hours.

THE DATE

It's official, I will be meeting my mom, my mom's older sister, and my grandmother on Wednesday December 9th. I will be taking the KTX train right after class so that I can get to Seoul by 6:30. I will meet them at the HOLT office, and a translator will be present. However I am going to try and cram in as much Korean as possible in the next couple of weeks. Oh man...

Mi Madre

So, uh, yeah, HOLT found my birth mom, and both her and my aunt (so my birth mom's older sister) want to meet me... I got the unexpected email this past Thursday evening. And now we're trying to figure out when to arrange a meeting... kind of surreal.... I'll keep you all posted when I get more of an idea as the logistics... eeeeee!!!!!!!!!^^ In the meantime, I REALLY have to study Korean now, gahhhhh!!!! ㅠㅠ

School Festival

I've been convinced to dance with one of my first grade classes to JYP's (박진영) "Honey" for the school festival next Thursday. I promised my coteacher I would learn the dance by Monday. Aiiiiishhh!!! hehehe.

A Summary of Daily Life Here (M-F)

I really haven't disclosed much on what life is like on a day to day basis here in Gumi. To make a very quick summary, I'm butt tired all the time, I never thought it could happen, but is has. Double majoring with 3 jobs in college was tiring. Balancing studio work, labwork at the Broad, and beer was also tiring. But teaching over 750 Korean children takes the cake.

So I teach Monday through Friday, and I'm usually at the school from 8am until 5pm. I teach 16 regular classes per week, 2 club classes, and 1 class for teachers. My first grade middle school students (so equivalent to the US 7th grade) are split by level, which makes teaching them a lot easier. My second graders are not (equivalent to US 8th grade). My second graders have an attitude problem across the board, so they are a little harder to teach in general. On Tuesday evenings I volunteer with the other Gumi teachers at Samsungwon, an amazing orphanage in Gumi (I will write more about that in the near future). There I tutor 3 high school boys, which has been quite difficult, but that's only b/c well, they're 3 teenage boys, hehe.

As for my interactions with my students, they're awesome. I absolutely adore them. As difficult as teaching is, my students (though not all of them^^) make it totally worth it. I've taught my upper level students how to play Apples to Apples, and man is that hilarious. When we play, I in turn attempt to learn the Korean word equivalents. I learned the word for slimy yesterday (끈적끈적한). When the word slimy came up as our adjective card to play off of, one girl definitely threw down "underwear." I nearly toppled over in my seat.

The teachers are equally as awesome. They are all very busy, b/c teachers here take care of a lot of the administrative work on top of their teaching. But when a group of us has some overlapping free time we sit and drink coffee together, while I teach them inappropriate English. A lot of the teachers are too shy to speak English, so it's been slow going trying to get know all of them (b/c those who are too shy just outright avoid me). The school nurse told me the other day that she has an "English allergy," which I thought was brilliant. However I should note that I do try my best to speak Korean with them. I'm totally a slow person when it comes to learning and acquiring new languages, so for the Koreans that have to listen to my attempt at speaking, it must be a very trying process.

When I get home from school, my younger host sister comes tearing around the corner yelling, "teacherrrr!!!" and then smacks into me and attempts to hug me until I pop. It's really endearing. I chill until dinner, b/c I'm usually wiped from teaching. My host mom is an amazing cook, and so I will definitely miss her food when I have to return to the US. During dinner I chat with her and both host sisters (in Korean and English). And I usually continue chatting with my host mom for another hour (or two...) after dinner is finished. I'm really comfortable with them, and vice versa. They're of course no replacement for my actual family, but I definitely feel blessed (as blessed as an atheist can feel...) that we were assigned to one another. They're just a really happy, loving, and intelligent little family. And luckily their English and my Korean is high enough that we can have some pretty meaningful conversations... and inane ones. My younger host sister explained and demonstrated for me the other day that she enjoys singing on the toilet while using the bidet. Ahhh yes, this truly was the right host family for me.^^ I think when I leave Korea, out of everything, leaving this family will be the hardest thing for me to do.

NY Times Article on Racism in South Korea

So, a lot of friends sent me this article on racism against biracial couples in South Korea. It will be interesting when Doug comes to visit in January. Definitely no PDA in enclosed spaces like subways, buses, or cabs - I don't want to get yelled at!! It will be interesting.... it will also be interesting hearing him attempt to speak Korean... his Italian accent was bad enough in Rome, hehehehe.

Face Mask LV Knock-off^^

So when people get sick in Korea, they wear a face mask, so that they don't continue to spread the germs. People will also wear them if they don't want to catch said germs. I think this makes sense. Though at first it was a little alarming since no one in the USA really does this (well, except asians, hehe). Many of my students are wearing them now, but these aren't just plain white medical looking masks, they're covered in cuteness (hello kitty, teddy bears, and even the Simpsons). I was in a stationary store today when I saw this little beauty, a Louis Vitton knockoff face mask. I am also shown modeling it, to give you an idea of what all of my students look like now. ㅋㅋㅋ

KT Olleh and Absurdity

So while I was in Seoul, I saw an art/design show sponsored by KT, formerly Korea Telecom, at the Kumho Art Museum (금호미술관). KT is a large communications and telecommunications company in Korea. The main reason why I know about them is b/c they have the strangest commercials on television. They've adopted a logo/slogan, "olleh," the misspelled version of the Spanish, "olé." Please watch the commercials below.

It's funny, b/c Koreans are always like, "Yes, olleh is hello backwards." I don't know what to make of it sometimes. I try to tell them that they actually spelled the Spanish incorrectly, but it's sort of fruitless.

Ok, so as for the art part, they sponsored a show, to promote creativity or something, but it had to use the company's slogan/logo, "olleh." It was definitely interesting. Below are some photos from the show. I recommend clicking on them so that you can get a closer view of the imagery.

In this piece, a red picture frame was hanging by a string in the middle of the floor, the Korean on the floor basically says, look at the chair through the picture frame.

Oh the awkward Engrish! So this says, "Fanimals - ... That's when the RED and BLUE were greeting me at the door. I saw the HAPPY GREEN was typing musically while the HOPPING HARE graciously flew over the YELLOW BEAST from the across."

Though while I was viewing the show, some person accidentally took what looked like a pamphlet, though was actually a part of the piece of work. So one of the gallery people was running around frantically trying to find the person. And also while I was there, I made my first attempt at conversing with one of the gallery sitters, in a mix of English and Korean. Baby steps, baby steps....

Question to Students: Who is your favorite Muppet and why?

So I introduced the Muppets to my second graders (so second grade middle school, the equivalent of a 13-year-old) this week (b/c none of them know who Kermit the Frog is). After we played a Muppet Speed Quiz activity, I asked them to write down who their favorite Muppet is and why. So this is the response from one boy:

"Miss Piggy. Because she is very sexy girl and superstar. Big nose is good!"

Another was:

"Miss Piggy. Because she is very sexy. and superstar, big nose and white hair, she's wearing sexy clothe."

Actually in this class, I think every boy said Miss Piggy. I don't know if this says anything about the fetishism of the Western face or not, but at the very least, it's pretty funny.

But, on a more serious note, to me it is very strange how all white people are indiscriminately considered beautiful here. A white girl that would be considered a Plain Jane in the USA is considered gorgeous in Korea. Western features are held in high regard, even on a Korean face. For example, Koreans all want a high bridged nose, big eyes, a double eye lid, and a small face. I always joked around about having a big asian head, and yeah like for real, if a Korean says you have a small face or head, it is a BIG compliment. I understand that being caucasian is exotic in Korea, but it goes beyond simple exoticism. Being white means being from the West, which is associated with wealth, power, and many other complicated feelings that are related to Korea's modern history with the USA. And for a population that is extremely nationalistic, it is very strange (and sad to a certain degree) to see them idolize a form of beauty that is foreign and basically unattainable for them (unless they get plastic surgery, which is a whole other topic for another day).

Sometimes I feel a certain degree of jealousy for the attention that my white counterparts get. As I have said before, I look super Korean, so even though I am a foreigner I am definitely treated differently from white people. Though after a lot of thought and consideration, I don't mind so much, b/c at least when I go back to the States I will still be considered as attractive as I am considered here. hehe. I don't know if I'd want to go from a year of Goddess status back to being just a normal American. But then again, if I did receive such attention, I would certainly enjoy it while it lasts!!!^^

More Engrish, Oh Lord

So I bought this hoodie tonight for 5,000W (or about $4.50). If you can't read it, going down the sweatshirt it says, "Heaven, restful." Across it is printed, "Every Avenue." And in the middle is, "Des Moines 1985." Mmm, yes, it makes perfect sense... Sometimes I can't help but think that the English printed on apparel (or anything really) here is the product of some type of surrealist game, like the result of a round of cadavre exquis. I feel like I should take advantage of this ready-made absurdity and use them as a starting point for drawings...

A Grammar Lesson in the Form of Poop

So I finally had a poop conversation with my host mom. We somehow got to the topic of constipation (변비) and that led to how to say "to poop." (똥을 싸다) This literally means to excrete poop. 똥 means poop. Direct objects always come before the verb. So a basic Korean sentence follows the order of subject, direct object, verb. However the verb for excrete (싸다) also can mean "cheap" or "to wrap" (a present). So I told my host mom then if I wanted to talk about a prank where I wrapped up poop as a joke present, I would have to say the exact same thing as "to poop." (where again, poop would be the direct object and to wrap would be the intended verb) After I said this she laughed harder than I had ever seen before, to the point of tears. It was awesome.

And then to top it off, I explained that in my last apartment we would weigh ourselves before and after pooping. She then told me that the younger host sister does the same, and that she has dropped a half of a kilogram of weight in the past. (she is only 8 years old) My host mom then went on to say that the younger sister "똥을 좋아해요," which literally means, "she likes poop." So yes, my youngest host sister finds poop just as hilarious as I do. I heart my host family. I guess it's the little things that make you feel a little more human.

A Few Random Photos from Gyeongju

These are just a few random photos from Gyeongju. The first is the front of a box that was in the closet of our hotel. I thought the sign was a little strange.... hmm.... The third photo isn't of a hill, but of a tomb. Like I said in an earlier post, instead of graves, dead bodies sit above ground. So when it came to burying those of very important status 1000 years ago, they did the same, just that the hills they made were much bigger. So the hill-like thing is actually hollow inside. They were gorgeous.

G-Dragon's "Heartbreaker"

So like all of my female students are in love with this guy, which I don't really understand... I haven't quite made up my mind yet, though generally I am not partial to asians with blond hair. ^_^ 

Chusok in Jeju

So this past weekend I went to Jeju-do, an island south of Korea, where I spent the Korean holiday, Chusok, with my host family and my host mom's inlaws. It's quite lovely, though I really didn't have any time for sight seeing, since we were only there from Friday afternoon until Sunday morning. Below are a couple of pics of the shoreline. In the top picture, the well-like shapes protruding from the water actually have fresh water flowing out of them. Tasting fresh water coming out of the ground so close to the ocean was a bit of a surprise!

So Chusok is a harvest holiday where people get together with their families and pay respects to their ancestors. I'm sure all families celebrate it slightly differently (just as there are no two exact ways of celebrating Thanksgiving in the US). We visited my host mom's inlaws and all together there were 3 families and the grandparents. Each respective family slept on the floor together in their own room. 

The day of Chusok (Sat) for me went as follows. We got up and cousins came over. The men of the family performed a certain ancestor ritual in the home, offering food and drink to the ghosts or spirits of their dead predecessors. We ate a big breakfast, after which I helped with doing all of the dishes. Then we went to the cousins' family's home and repeated (giant meal and all). After leaving the cousins' family's home, we went to the graveyard where all of my host mom's husband's family are (including her husband). 

Graveyards in Korea are different from those in the US. Instead of the body being buried under the earth, they stay on top and are covered by dirt and eventually grass. They look like soft mounds of earth, and each have the presence of a person in a way. They have this very peaceful, if almost comical presence to them. And there were many of them in the graveyard, all belonging to their family. They bowed to the ancestors that still resided in their living memory. I only bowed to my host mom's late husband. After paying our respects, we proceeded to have a picnic amongst the dead. Though while all of this was going on, all we could hear was the crying sound of dogs coming from a nearby dog farm. So the whole experience was a little surreal, being in the presence of these bizarre tombs, listening to the sounds of soon-to-be-eaten dogs, and paying respects to people who up until a month ago I had no connection to. Surreal, but moving nonetheless.

Later in the evening one of the uncles took us around the seashore, so we could at least see some of the island while we were there. While on our travels we stopped at a small seaside restaurant and ate the freshest squid I've ever eaten in my life. So fresh in fact it was killed right in front of me! It was a little unnerving watching the tentacles still squirming about minutes before I was about to consume them raw, but I got over it pretty quickly when I discovered that it was delicious! And it was interesting, b/c as we ate the freshly julienned squid, the little spots of coloration were actually moving in sort of a blinking manner. All motor movement had stopped in the tentacles, but the little dots were all blinking like crazy. It was strange, but absolutely tasty.


So in the end, I won the approval of the grandparents b/c I did a lot of dishes (basically for all the meals that were eaten this weekend) and I ate everything that was put in front of me. I never realized that my love of food and lack of pickiness would help me win over the hearts of Koreans, or anyone for that matter. 

This Photo is for Val, My Tall White Sis

Yeah, I took this photo at a Dunkin Donuts in the Jeju airport thinking of you Val. It does indeed say "Garlic Glazed." I unknowingly took a bite of a sugar glazed bun-like-thing that was offered to me, and I think it was either garlic or scallion glazed. To my surprise it was actually quite delicious! So yeah, it's official, they have garlic donuts in Korea!

Murakami Frustration

For Americans who are not aware, Haruki Murakami has a new novel out, called 1Q84. I see posters all over Korea advertising this new book and much to my dismay it is only available in Japanese and Korean here (though not surprising since it just came out in May). The title is a reference to George Orwell's 1984, though there is a Q in the title b/c the Japanese word for the number nine is pronounced, "kyū". (and as a side note, one of the Korean words for the number nine is pronounced "koo")

Yeah, so I have this brand new Murakami book dangling in front of my face all the time and I can't read it!!! How frustrating. And what's even more frustrating is that the English translation will probably take at least a good year or two to come out. Gahhh!!!

If you want to read more about the book's release, you can check out an article here. Sighhhh.

Art, Seoul, and Adoption

So this past weekend I was back and forth from Gumi to Seoul Friday night through Wednesday. I got to eat Indian food Friday night with ETA friends, and man, I didn't realize just how much I missed variety in my diet until the taste of paneer hit me. Mmmm.

Saturday day I met up with a friend of Steph's and we walked around the 삼청동 (samcheon-dong) area all afternoon. There are a ton of galleries in that part of the city and it had a very artsy feel to it, so I was quite pleased. Below are some photos of work that I saw.

After partying in Seoul Saturday night I went back to Gumi, only to return to Seoul again Monday night. There I met another friend of Steph's (so another Korean who studied at SFAI), and she was nice enough to let me stay with her and her family. As a side note, most Koreans if they are not married yet, will continue to live with their families until they get married. This doesn't have the same stigma as it can have in the United States. But also in Korea there is less space and so property is more expensive here, so it makes sense.

So moving on, Seoul part II was really cool b/c Steph's friend, Eun Young is super nice and really smart, and so I felt really comfortable hanging out with her. We went to the Kyobo bookstore and unsuccessfully attempted to find Murakami's new novel in English (which I will express my frustration in another post, hehe).

I then had my meeting with HOLT. I was lucky that Eun Young went with me b/c the building was difficult to find. She took a nap in the building while I met with the social worker. I got to see all of my original adoption papers in person. I was good, kept my cool and didn't cry. There were a few moments where I thought I would, when the social worker was translating notes on my mother. At one point she was saying, to paraphrase, that despite choosing to give the baby up, she still loved the baby very much. Gahhhhhh. That almost did me in. I also got to glance briefly at the paper work my adoptive parents filled out 20 something years ago. It was strange b/c I recognized my dad's handwriting immediately. It just gave me such a strange feeling, to see and immediately recognize something so familiar in such an unfamiliar environment. 

As for my search, they have my mother's full name and identification number, so she's as good as found. However bureaucratically speaking, this will take some time. HOLT will put in a request to the government, asking for her current contact information. This could take up to one or two months. Then once HOLT receives her info, they will attempt to contact her, and it's up to her if she wishes to respond. So now I play the waiting game....

After my HOLT appointment, I went to the Seoul Art Museum to check out a show that opening that night called "City_net Asia 2009." It was a pretty cool show, they were showing contemporary work from 4 Asian cities, Seoul, Istanbul, Tokyo, and Beijing. Below are some photos that I covertly took. Shhh, don't tell anyone....

That night while Eun Young was at a faculty dinner, I met one of her friends (also a painter) and she happened to work for HOLT as a translator in the past. And so with her were 3 other adopted Koreans, from Denmark, New York, and Sweden. Man, I really wonder where the next 9 months of this grant year are going to take me.....

KFC in Seoul, mmmm

So the coleslaw (which was contained in that green sealed plastic cup thing), was more watery and chopped more coarsely than its american counterpart. However the taste was exactly the same. ^_^

How Koreans Pronounce Duchamp's Name

I was looking over last year's first grade middle school art test, and low and behold, what do I see but a picture of Duchamp's "Bicycle Wheel." But in the question I saw how his name was written, and it was as follows: 뒤샹. This would effectively be pronounced as Dwee-Shyang. I thought of my dearest boyfriend and his French studies and figured this would make his skin crawl, hence leading to my writing about it. The end.

It Is Impossible to Explain to Koreans What the Concept of a "Nerd" Is

This endeavor is wildly difficult to do, b/c well, in Korea everyone is a nerd. The socially awkward nerd doesn't really exist in Korea's schools b/c the majority of the students fit the American definition.

Korean students study more than most college students do in the United States. My host sister in second grade middle school (the equivalent of 9th grade) has 11 midterms next week (math, science, english, korean, chinese, art, home ec, social studies, ethics, music, and physical education - yes there is even a written test on phys ed). Many middle school students go to school during normal hours (anywhere between 8/9am and 3/4pm) and then go to private institutes to study more (until maybe 10 or 11pm). There is a big emphasis on math and english. My 8-year-old host sister can do multiplication of mixed fractions and reduce them in her sleep. And even in middle school they dream about going to a great college.

Most children when they're young learn how to play at least one instrument. Many of them like animation/anime, playing Starcraft, reading comic books, and wear plastic framed glasses. Many of them can draw really well and adorn everything from their desks to their worksheets and sometimes even their closes with amazing drawings. And now that they are wearing their fall school uniforms, they have sleeve protectors to prevent their long-sleeved white shirts from getting pen on them. Yes, they wear brightly colored sleeve protectors.

And all of the kids are socially well adjusted, probably b/c being a nerd doesn't mean belonging to a minority group. Hence the concept of being a nerd is nonexistant.

I love it!!!

Nature vs Nurture - What Koreans and I Have in Common

So there are a lot of things ingrained in my personality and mannerisms that have made adjusting to Korean life a hell of a lot easier. I don't know if this a nature vs nurture issue, but it is certainly strange. Ok, so here it is:

1. Koreans eat soup, rice, and various savory side dishes for breakfast. - As a kid, I HATED cereal. My parents made me eat it every morning until about junior high/high school, until I decided that I would eat soup for breakfast. I loved eating soup (or leftovers from dinner) for breakfast. I still hate eating cereal in the morning.

2. Koreans sit and sleep on the floor, actually they love the floor. - As a kid, I loved the floor too. I remember my father barking at me to get off the floor and sit on the couch or at the table. Actually I still love the floor. ^_^

3. They don't wear shoes in the house, they're usually barefoot or wear socks. - Again, I think my parents told me not to wear just socks around the house b/c I would wear them out.

4. Koreans have a different concept of personal space, for example they don't really hang out in their room by themselves with the door closed. In fact they think it is strange if you do. - This is how I was in my apartment after college. I never hung in my room by myself, I was usually in the common space. Though my roommates usually would, and then I would feel lonely! haha. Well not actually lonely, but I definitely feel more comfortable if people leave their doors open if they're home, or if they're milling about where I can see them. This trait is something that has made adjusting to Korean home-life infinitely easier than for other Americans.

5. Squatting, Koreans will squat to rest or chill. - I would do this while waiting for the trains in Boston, usually at Park Street.

6. Koreans are such awkward huggers!!! - Ditto. Though Koreans are super touchy feely otherwise, same sex touchy feely. In my classes, boys will sit in other boys' laps, with their arms around each other. Same with girls. Girls hold hands with other girls, and boys hold hands with other boys. But man, if you try and hug them, they have no idea what to do. I am by no means touchy feely, but I am definitely an awkward hugger!!

7. Koreans don't eat from their own plates, well b/c they don't have one. They're all about the sharing. - Another one of my favorite things. Usually when I go to restaurants, I want to split food with other people so I can try everything. I eat off of other people's plates at home, sometimes whether they like it or not, hehe. That is not strange here, well b/c they don't have their own plate. The food is placed in the middle of the table and it's all up for grabs.

8. They also eat everything at the same time. - They don't have courses or finish one thing first and then move on to the next thing. This is how I eat too. Doug always finishes his salad before beginning on his pasta. I like to eat everything at once.

9. And last but not least, Koreans LOOOVE hitting each other!!!! - This is pretty self explanitory if you know me. Hehe. They like seriously hit their good friends. As a kid I always wanted to play fight with my younger sisters. So I would hit them in expectation that they would hit me back. But they would just cry and I would get frustrated (or in trouble with my parents). hehe. And man, I remember Ryan would get sooooo mad at me when I hit him hard. Well, now I understand where it comes from. If only I could explain that to him now.... ^_^

Art Stuff!!! Finally!!!!

So while I was in Seoul this past weekend, outside of taking photos of funny Engrish things, I did finally get to check out some art stuff. I first went to Arario Gallery, where I saw a solo painting show of Jin Meyerson's works. His paintings are really ambitious, taking imagery from various sources of our contemporary visual culture and turning them into a vortex of both representational imagery and abstract color on a large scale. For those that know me, it's not really my cup of tea, but I have to admire the ambition and his handling of paint. I really liked some of the passages of heavy abstraction, more-so than the more representational parts. I actually got to meet his family b/c the friend who I went to Seoul with, she knows his mother through her grandmother. He is actually a Korean adoptee as well, and I was hoping to meet him too, but he was too busy and our schedule was tight as well. 

I also went to the Artsonje Center, which was a short walk down the block. I got to see Kyungah Ham's show called, "Desire and Anesthesia." Her show was really cool, and explored the complexity of the displacement of art throughout the ages, and how much of history's great art does not reside in its actual place of origin. This conjures up more serious issues of power, materialism, and colonialism and how they have helped to create the magnificent power house art museums that exist today (the Met, the Louvre, etc). She addressed these ideas through various media, including painting, photography, and mixed media. I really liked photos up on one wall where she documents her own partaking in artifact displacement. She would steal coffee cups in one country and swap them out at other coffee shops in other countries. Humorous, but to the point. 

At the Artsonje Center, on the first floor they have a bookshop. So of course I bought an art book. I ended up buying a book by a Korean American artist who shows at the Tina Kim Gallery, in NYC. The artist's name is Kyung Jeon, and it contains plates of drawings illustrating an almost fairy-tale-like story. It had drawings of naked asians, skulls, and monsters and was only 15,000W ($12), so I had to buy it!

This was the inside of the book shop part of the art center. 

For Those Who Don't Believe My Toilet Paper Woes

Ok, so this sign was on the stall door in a Starbucks bathroom in Seoul. This is why I have toilet paper issues people!!! >.<

Engrish Crose to Home

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Beginning the Search for My Birth Mom

Ok, so I finally got the balls to call HOLT, the adoption agency who dealt with my case on the Korean side of things. I will be meeting with a social worker at their Seoul office at the end of the month, on Sept 29. Eeee!!!!! I will be reviewing my case with a Ms. Lee (who sounded extremely nice over the phone) and will be putting in my official request to begin the search for my birth mother. Oh this is inducing a lot of very complicated emotions!!!

How Did I Miss a Pop Video With Hot Korean Girls and Hints of Bondage???

I hear this song everywhere. And my host sisters sing it ALL the time. Ok, enjoy!!

Noraebang With Teachers Last Night

So I went to Daegu last night with some of the teachers from my school. Daegu is the third largest city in Korea and only about 25-30 min East from Gumi via train. We got dinner (bibimbap!) and then went to a bar. It was me and 5 other female teachers (ranging from early 30s to late 40s? Koreans look younger than their actual age, so they could've been a little older). After drinking beer and eating dried squid we went to a noraebang and sang korean songs and drank more beer. The older teachers were amazing singers! I could only sing the choruses to a few select Korean songs, but I did do the dance for "Sorry, Sorry," which is posted below for the Americans who haven't seen or heard this song. ^_^

Oh Toilet Paper Troubles!!!

So today I discovered that I can indeed flush toilet paper down the toilet at my home and in the school.

For those who don't know, in a lot of places in Korea you can't flush toilet paper down the toilet b/c the pipes can't handle it. In Chuncheon we couldn't flush it in the dorms. So I thought we couldn't here in Gumi.

But I finally had that conversation with my host mom. This also cleared up her question about why the tiniest of tiny waste baskets next to the toilet started to become full more quickly when I moved in. Oh cross cultural misunderstanding. Who would've thought that even wiping your ass could be so complicated?? ^_^

Thoughts on Looking Like Everyone Else

Obviously I knew that by coming to Korea, I would look like the majority of people (for once in my life). And I knew before arriving in Korea that my minority status would switch. In the USA I'm about as American as they come (I believe in freedom of the individual over the good of the whole, diversity, democracy, etc) but I am a minority by race. In Korea I am a cultural minority but my face is SOOOO Korean.

Yeah, let me repeat that, my face is SOOOOO Korean!! I confuse many Korean people, actually let me take that back. I confuse ALL Korean people!! The first thing out of every Korean's mouth when they hear me speak for the first time is, "Aren't you a Korean person???" (in Korean of course) I get this in taxis, department stores, grocery stores, in school, etc etc etc. Here ethnicity and culture go hand-in-hand. Here it is a very foreign idea that a person who's face looks so Korean is not really a Korean.

Foreigners here who look foreign (esp if you are white) are treated like super stars. Korea is a very homogenous place and so if someone clearly sticks out as foreign, they are greeted as someone special. However if you don't look foreign and you speak English, you are treated with skepticism. And apparently if a Korean person speaks English with a good accent, to other Koreans they are considered snobbish. Hence I get dirty looks all the time when Korean people (especially middle aged women) hear me speak English.

Most of the time I can't communicate with most people. I can speak a little Korean, but nothing on the level that can express complex or abstract thoughts. So when I see foreigners, sometimes I feel a sigh of relief knowing that there are people who I can probably talk with. But they look at me as just another Korean person, and not an American.

So the combination of these different things has led me to feel as if I am a ghost sometimes. I'm nothing special to Koreans or Westerners, and so effectively they don't really see me. And who I am is not what I am projecting to these people, and this projection is not anything that I can control either. In the USA I can better control the personality that I project to strangers b/c our surrounding symbolic system is the same. Here, my face says it all, whether I want it to or not. It wouldn't matter how I dressed, how I carried myself, my mannerisms, my face is Korean and so I am assumed to be Korean, and a snobby one at that. It is a very interesting dilemma.

This hasn't really bothered me yet, if anything it amuses me. I may have the quality of a ghost from afar, but then I retain that element of surprise when I actually have to talk to people. And then when I drop the adopted bomb, hehe, oh man. But that will be a topic for another posting. ^_^

Zombie Korean Children

This what I see every morning when I get off the bus. It's like Night of the Living Dead, just with adorable Korean kids.

Hmmm... I don't know what this means....

So I asked all of the kids to write me a self introduction so I could better know what my students like and don't like, what music they listen to, what they watch on television, etc. And this is one boy's response I got:

"I like a Furry and Music and so on. My hobby is watch animation. I love animation and Furry."

Ummmmm, I'm pretty sure that he is not the type of American person I am thinking of that likes animation and furries.... I wonder if there are furries in Korea? Hmmmm..... a year of misunderstanding begins!!

Another good response was simply, "I like girl."

Difficulty Adjusting, But Not B/c of Korea

So, this was my first week of teaching, and the kids and faculty at my school, Bong Gok Middle School (봉곡중학교), are frigin' amazing. There really haven't been any moments that were too awkward, well sort of (I'll get to that). The first day was hard b/c I had 4 classes back to back and so I had little time to reflect and adjust my method of running the class. Needless to say, I think I sucked. The teachers were pretty honest with me if they thought I wasn't doing such a great job. And in the end I prefer this b/c if they say I'm doing a good job, then I know they're being honest. The next day I started my second round of teaching and I made changes in the first class and things went soooo much better and the suckage diminished.

Then tragedy struck. So for those who haven't heard, Steph's James passed away on Tuesday morning from a sudden still currently unknown reason. If you know Steph, and you need her info to contact her, just email me. For everyone else, please, leave no comments on this post. It has been wildly difficult being in Korea this week. Steph is one of the closest people to me, and has been for the past 8 years. If I had been in the States, I would've been at Logan Airport within the hour, T granting. So far adjusting to Korea has been relatively easy for me. Despite all of the cultural differences, I've been trying to approach everything with an open mind and a smile. I really didn't think that I would experience too much homesickness. But I really wish I was back in the USA right now. And one of the most exhausting things is greeting all of my students (all 750 of them) with a cheery hello and saying that I'm great when they say, "Teacher, hello how are you????" I cried in the teachers' office when I found out, and that definitely made everyone else feel really uncomfortable, especially since no one in the office at that time could speak English. (so if you can help crying in front of the teachers, I recommend that.... unless you really don't mind feeling reaaaallly awkward)

So yeah, it's been hard splitting myself in two, one side belonging to my students and Korea, the other side belonging to Steph. Again, please, leave no comments on this post, I appreciate it. Ok, time for bed.... I need my rest in order to match the energy of my students. And believe me, even for me, it is hard!!